I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
