id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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