Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
