I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
