Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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