we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
