Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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