He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
