4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize