I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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