I wannas sexs uuuuu
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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