Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
