We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
