Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
