My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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