Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
