Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
