wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
