We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
