its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
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You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
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Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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