I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
