then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry about my life...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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