Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
