you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
