I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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