I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
