glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
