I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
