Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
