Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
