obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
