I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize