I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
