Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
