As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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