brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
