One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
