PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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