I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's never too late to be topless.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
