I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
nutella sex= disaster
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
