Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
