Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
