$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
