My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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