I want to have your abortion
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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