What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
