Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
