It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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