God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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