Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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