when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
