...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
