singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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