I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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