sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
