someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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