sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
