47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
