People in love make me want to vomit
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
