Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
