...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
