Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
