i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
