I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
