It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just gargled with NyQuil
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
